Friday, July 4, 2008

Healing is so painful

I dont know what will ease my pain... crying out loud or ignoring my sorrow?

The images of him in bed with her is truly nauseating, why am i so unfortunate to go through this?

Sometimes the pain is so intense that piercing myself with a knife wouldn't be that painful. At such times i contemplate killing myself to permanently put an end to my sufferings ... but what happens to others around me?? Looks like he will blame and ruin himself if i do so, but by not doing so i am afraid of ruin that is happening to me. And then there is my daughter and the baby.. i dont want to put them through a pained childhood.

So i need to sacrifice my eternal peace for the sake of the ones i love...

There is nothing i can do to reverse what happened on Feb3 2007. Wish it did not happen...